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‘Proofing up with the Kardashians’

Proofreading is the most tedious jobs to do. Steve Jobs would agree…(well! I had to use his name, everyone is doing it…and I truly love him and his vision!)

After a few bungled efforts, I trashed a lot of my stuff, because they had errors that made me red with shame and so I have stayed off posting for quite a while… Now I have found a new way~!

I’m ‘Keeping up with the Kardashians’ – the American serial which I watch mon – thu 9pm -10 pm. What I like most is that like reality shows they give you sound ‘bytes’ (oh Steve I miss you so! )and the tone used is like soo amazing and so funny!

I have recreated a snippet with my own inputs, since I don’t remember the exact dialogues…

My take:

Khloe:
I do not know what Kourt is doing; why is she still with Scott; did u see the rage in him – he needs a Psycho. Actually, he’s a psycho; he needs help …!
Anyways I have to go look for the ring; can’t seem to find it and Lamar will kill me!!

Kourtney:
Khloe has no idea what this does to me –you know I feel like – – I am pulled from all sides …why is the family after Scott’s butt, he is trying to change – why can’t they be with us, instead of trying to separate us… it’s so annoying…

Mom:
Scott does not understand that Khloe has her shoots and he comes home so late that she has these dark circles or are they dark circles??

Kourtney
“Scott, we need to talk about …”

Scott:
Kourtney has this thing about not touching the wine in the fridge
It has been in the cellar for so long, are we going to like- drink it next year!!
…about picking up after me what’s the big deal…after I’m drunk, I can’t see whether it’s a bottle; or a bottle; anyways I want my son Mason to be raised in NY—

Kourtney
“Scott – I a m talking to Yoou”
Scott
“Yeah I know “

Kourtney
“No you don’t – I think we should move to NY, have another baby, Mason needs a brother or a sister!”

Anyways you get the drift – the ‘after comments’ is the style I use to proofread’ sometimes, to make it interesting and fun. I read it aloud using the ‘tone of voice’, of the ‘Kardashians ‘. I actually did a piece and it worked but for this one I think, I’ll read this aloud!!

I really can’t let others read what I write – I just can’t – it’s me and my readers – if they like its fine. But I don’t think it will come to that… this time.. . Right now, I have the ‘Kardashians’ to help me …

Do you have a proofing idea…to share with me?

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Posted by on October 17, 2011 in Humour, Personal, Writing

 

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Dive in!?!

Dive in!?!

Oct.3, 2011

I am at my sister’s place for lunch and the view from her place is – phew! From the ‘cozy corner’, I can see the pool and all I feel like is just – diving in! Tempting – but there are no ‘floats’ – I need tHeM!!

It has been quite a while, since I managed to learn the basics, after ‘drowning’ in ‘shallow’ water for a while!

A lot of hard work later and more hard work, I finally manage without floats. Floating on my back will be heaven…

I look longingly at the pool and wait for all signs of the rains to vanish. It’s hot but the rains keep playing spoil sport!

Hey, welcome October – am I going to make a splash…or wot!?!

 

The pics are of Vasant Lawns in India and one of the most beautiful i have seen…hope it stays this way:D

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Posted by on October 5, 2011 in fun, Humour, Personal, Uncategorized

 

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Aside
Sunday – a poem

squirrel

Sunday

Sunday feel good, breathe easy day

So breaks life’s pace;

Brunch, munch, tea, and fun,

movies, popcorn.

Suddenly my reverie a squirrel broke

Cozy it lay snug as a bug

under a tiny rug,

Squirreled away, the munchkin did not stay!

Sunday – a poem

 
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Posted by on September 24, 2011 in Poems, Writing

 

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Kingfisher blue so blue!

the common kingfisher
blue blue

When I shifted to my new residence, the lush greenery had me sold and early mornings were sitting at the window side and watching birds, butterflies flit about (my desk was placed here near the window sill)! It wasn’t soon before I discovered the parakeets, then a small green bird with red beak (not a parakeet)- this was exotica – my paradise! It was really thrilling to discover the yellow and black striped bird who I named ‘tiger’ bird for they had these stripes – my daughter too was extremely thrilled when I pointed out and she found it ‘terrific’!

Then, one day, I hear sounds of – how do I describe it ‘cackling laughter’. I run to the window – can’t see where the sound sprang from and this continued…

And, then just as I looked up from my comp (believe it was a 486 then….! ). I glanced at the well, it had a lot of fishes in it, they were thriving there, I spotted something blue…it was blue as blue can be(the other colours are complements to this blue). Omg I thought it was kingfisher blue and the bird was a KINGFISHER!(omg!)

Whoosh! I stared in wonder till it flew off and then each time I heard its sound, I hurried to catch a glimpse! The kingfisher sat patiently to catch a fish; suddenly it would swoop and with a nice juicy fish would fly off to where its nest was (fishbones!- I suppose!!) to feed its young – a tasty family dinner!

I had a good camera and decided I was going to capture this for posterity and with instructions to be careful as soon as I spotted it at the well, I knew it would have a wait to get one, so I took the lift, turned toward the well and as I reached the well… I stepped forward very, very slowly – it was still there but one more step and off it flew – all I got was a blurred image but I waited for another time and days flew by as I got a good exercise but no pic!

The kingfisher was uncanny with all its focus on its food; yet a human step and it would just swish off – a wonderful sight yet I had no proof… for nobody believed me – the only witness was my lil daughter and she too was excited then went back to her Barbie dolls, or was busy with play and school projects.

I did show those pics to the fam and they said but where’s the Kingfisher?? I pointed to the blue blur where I could discern the bird but they were ‘maani, you’re just dreaming…!’

Finally, I gave up trying to click it and by now I was used to having the kingfisher come regularly to its food place, and, it never failed to thrill me! Since my skills came to naught , i decided to search for the perfect KF image…

The common kingfisher and so uncommon to me!

So my tryst continues with pets and wild birds – they’re always a sight to behold!

Of course, now that we’ve shifted to a new place, there is a new story…that’s if you would be interested to listen:::::)

The image is attributed to Karunakar Raykar http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Kingfisher_India.jpg

 

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Posted by on September 8, 2011 in fun, Humour, Personal, Pets and animals, Writing

 

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How I discovered my true calling!

How I discovered my true calling!

a slice of my libraryBefore I decided to become a copywriter I was interested in so many hobbies, far removed from writing except maybe for a home-grown greeting  for birthdays and letters to friends and pen pals …school stuff I hated – essays, any school stuff I found them scary …for some reason (the system has killed many a writer creative person in India). So I didn’t have a teacher tell me ‘someday you’ll become a writer’. Yes my French teacher did tell me, when I took my daughter to join her kindergarten

“aren’t you the girl who used to run very fast”. I was uh huh – come again! Wish someone had told me, earlier; just maybe I would worked harder on making it to the Olympics – for sure… ha ha. But seeing my extra lean frame none would,  I suppose! I lived to play and that meant a lot of aches and breathing difficulty and my mom being troubled for a hot press – a cloth in which roasted flax-seed was stuffed and placed on the chest for relieving congestion. Bronchitis was just one thing to be borne but it didn’t stop me once I was up and about and if it was ‘holi’( an Indian festival where dry colours were smeared and wet balloons, water thrown on each other (who talked of preserving the environment then)! And I wouldn’t go up to change even when my dress tore coz I was scared my second mom – my sis wouldn’t let me go back , no one else could stop me. Bless her; she knew it would mean another round of doctors and suffering for me and my mom!

Well that was going off tangent, quite a bit…if you would travel with me… Actually, all my school life I dreaded math and often dreamt of cycling fast to reach the hall, another one being not knowing the portion for the exam and hurriedly taking notes and stuff like  – these were stuff  my nightmares were made of!

Reading meant Enid Blyton’s and my all time favorites were Heidi, Pride and Prejudice; later it was M&B  where I digested the ‘forever’ theme till reality struck years later…Agatha Christie, Harold Robbins, pulp fiction without too much gore were my favourites; with a plateful of sandwiches – jammy ones and a blanket, if it was cold and two hours later it was another book or time for the playground – badminton, cycling and stuff .

We didn’t get Cosmo and other foreign magazines so I borrowed them from my library and all  their’‘how to’s’’ were by heart plus the ads fascinated me! After school I didn’t really know what I wanted to do but getting a University degree was a must for Indian girls, though for me being a housewife and becoming a mom was high on my list after college! I chose Commerce for graduation for my sis, a topper was in it and my dad had a business … he wanted us girls too to join him. He was a very forward thinking man for the 80’s in India!

… the nightmares continued after college for some reason.. I tried giving a banking test, absolutely unbelievable to me even today but those were the regular things girls went for unless thy were planning to become doctors, or some hi-fi careers –  at least it seemed like that to me! While this was happening romance was blossoming and I wanted to marry and settle down while at the same time I was very passionately following a drawing and painting course. I did my own stuff copied calendars with some. ‘Radha  Krishna’ themes ; even repaired a tile which had a landscape for a friend but it was not to be even after I tried my absolute best! As a kid I would enter all the contest ‘ why do you like Cadbury Chocolates… or ‘Surf is the best detergent because..’ in 10 words! Not one of them did I miss – but all to see my name, the prize really didn’t impress me… it seems unbelievable today but kids, teens are like that, don’t you think!

After college, I saw an ad for a ‘copy workshop’ but somehow it didn’t happen. Meanwhile, when my daughter was born I became very interested in the  ‘learning through play’  method; quite new to India (Kindergarten though, had taken off quite well!). I gobbled all the knowledge or books; internet was not available to us , I decided that since I loved kids a lot … a course in ‘Early Childhood Care and Education’ – it would be!  I was very enthusiastic and made all the teaching aids and joined the British library for books , since that was the first year the course was introduced no text books were available for the theory and understanding the nitty gritty’s of teaching kids. I wanted more and I researched and made notes and studied like never before! I topped the theory exams and to my utmost wonder I found that my answers were read out in class!

We interned in schools and children really loved the real examples while teaching math and fun ways we introduced new things with help of the teachers there. I found myself buying stuff, books, toys, clay, thick crayons, and all the stuff possible for my kid, too. I was fascinated by the method and my daughter turned to be like clay, she lapped it all (sometimes i wonder if ECCE(early childhood care and education) was to give her what we didn’t get as kids). Everybody in the family were happy, they were sure, I would teach or start my own school but fate intervened. I was sure that teaching was not for me ,  and wanted to study further and be part of the change do an ‘administration post grad’, but, since I wasn’t a science student(!) I didn’t get admission in the only college that had the course in Mumbai.

And suddenly one day, the newspaper came with the same  ad for the ‘copywriting workshop’ and this time it just swept me with the tide and I was determined to complete this workshop…once again I was on the roll; cut up ads (my daughter helped:)) scanned and photocopied books bought as many as I could, read as much on the subject. Caples, Bernbach, Ogilvy, books like  – Hey,Whipple Squeeze This, Pritkins Statement… were treasured by me and finally I found my childhood dreams vanished, those nightmares that haunted me had disappeared totally, … Three months later, a copywriting workshop certificate and some brand new ideas under my arm, I stepped into a local advertising agency INS accredited and imagine my luck, the copywriter was leaving after marriage and they were looking for an instant replacement. And, that’s when I got my first ever job.

The journey wasn’t smooth sailing…but, I knew I was at the right place and my time would come. I faced problems but I triumphed when my first campaign went national for JK Helene Curtis ! My first headline ‘boon or bane’ for a pharma client got me a shoot of laughter from the crew, but the client lapped it and that was all that mattered to me! I suppose I wasn’t typically ambitious to work in a big agency for it would mean up down two hours leaving my daughter in a crèche so I decided to freelance …we managed well between the two of us. She enjoyed the creative stuff and as she grew up, she enjoyed listening to my shop talk! Today, she’s studying advertising –that, after taking up science –wanting to be an astronomer! Later she switched to mass media, inspite of everyone wanting her to continue. Surprisingly, even I thought that she could get into copywriting after graduation in science for by then I found that a fallback was good with payments becoming low after the 1990’s real estate crash’ but you couldn’t force her…like mother…huh!!

15 years later, I haven’t won a Cannes or any copywriting award – just two prizes – one for a greeting contest and a tv channel “i like home tv because…” in you guessed it -10 words! I got to see my name as the first prize and fifth prize winner…and I actually loved the tv and music system I got – giving it away was a sad moment! Actually, if you’re a copywriter you also want this but I had made my choice by working for small agencies, but, these were the happiest years of my life and I cherish every moment of it. The only mistake was not joining a big agency then because you were paid for freelancing based on that stamp of a Big agency; my friends who joined Big agencies went on to make pots of money…but money, then, wasn’t my core need. It was satisfaction and that I got in plenty. I don’t have regrets; except for not meeting ‘big idea’ people and growing exponentially…hmmm! So who said the journey to discover your true love was easy or that it ever ends!!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/bkoger/4791448741/sizes/s/in/photostream/

 

 

 
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Posted by on September 3, 2011 in Careers, Personal, Uncategorized, Writing

 

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Signature campaign – care to sign?!?

Thumb Impressions seems the perfect remedy to all forgery or cheating problems. It’s one of those things that have lasted centuries and nothing modern has been able to wipe out its sheer simplicity, genius and ease. Signatures, I suppose followed literacy. Kings used it with a flourish to issue an execution order or to go to war or some silly stuff kings used to do. Later judges broke a nib over a judgment. People spent hours over creating their own signatures that none could forge and reflected the personality they wanted to express. There are people who make a living on reading people’s signatures and guessing personality quirks.

Every child reaches a stage when they start developing their signatures and creating one that stands apart and many a page is crumpled to get that perfect signature drafted before making it final.

Unfortunately, forgers slog harder to copy and major frauds and forgeries are committed even of the most complex signatures. Then there is the danger of election rigging where your identity and ideology are in danger with mass rigging and the whole nation’s future depends on being forge proof. And, that’s where I’d say – thumbs down!

I’m all for the good old thumb impression. It’s the perfect solution to all verification and proofs. After all, signatures are easily forged, faces changed with surgery. And, it’s said everybody has more than one double in the world. So, for authenticity’s sake fingerprints seem to be the best bet.

Actually, I do have a vested interest in going all thumbs, though I am a little embarrassed to say this. My signature is so ordinary, without style that I blush every time someone says, not your initials please! And, to top that my oh so simple signature even fluctuates ever so slightly. My bank’s used to this, recognises my (ir)regular sign, and clears my cheques.

The reason I haven’t tried to acquire a stylized signature is I’d probably forget it and that would land me into even more trouble. I’m always amazed at people who sign with such a flourish and with such expressions of their name it almost seems like a work of art. It fascinates me how it’s the same every time. As for me I’m usually in such a hurry and so harried that I feel safer with my ordinary, mousy signature. Plus, with frauds and forgeries and scams all around I’m convinced it’s best for all concerned that we take to the thumbprint way. See the benefits:

No two fingerprints are the same-I’m sure God in all his infinite wisdom and foresight knew human weakness and with the best technology available only to him ensured that all fingerprints are not alike. Until some evil force breaks this code, we are safe!

Then there is the election rigging. This could be easily solved. Indelible ink used for thumb impressions against the party candidate would end rigging forever. Then you can stop gangsters from having two passports. Computers can verify this with their data bank of all fingerprints.

Of course, thumbprints do have that uneducated touch! A little retro could do us some over-technologified people some good. It’s like getting to the grassroots.

I am all set for this anti-signature campaign. Care to sign?

P.S. President Obama’s writing sample in the paper made me so sentimental, I’ve now decided to try my hand at improving my signature and win the campaign!

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Posted by on August 30, 2011 in fun, Humour, Personal, Uncategorized, Writing

 

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Pristine beauty!

Recently while attending a creativity workshop, we had the words top, rope, cherish – a random list and you had to write a story in five minutes flat!

The only restriction was that the three words had to be in the first line, and one of them in the last.

Five minutes later, I could manage only this much…

 

Pristine beauty! (named immediately after writing)

…he climbed the rope to reach the top and he cherished this moment. The mountain peaks of the Himalayas beckoned every now and then …the pristine beauty drew him like a magnet. Exhilarated he turned to his group. He often took troops of city haggard people to his favourite places but only after they passed a rigid interview.

 

“no” he shouted suddenly red with sheer anger and said ”no littering the place” put in the bag he had given them. Take it back to civilization and dump it there”.

 

Leave it pristine…he caught the rope to step down…just l..e..a..ve ..i….t ……

Suddenly you could see him..the team clapped gleefully!

Times up and that was that…no time to complete it the way you wanted.  That I think was the best part of the exercise – every time it will be a different story depending on the memory that is with you at the moment.

I enjoyed the process. I have never ever written a story. It was gr8 fun but maybe if I had time to think I wouldn’t have written it!

You could try your hand… send me a comment with your story with the words – top, rope, cherish!

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Posted by on August 28, 2011 in Personal, Uncategorized, writing prompts

 

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